So, today after Sacrament, I got asked to meet with one of the counselors from the Bishopric.
After we went into a room, he told me, "I have some sad news...well, actually doubly sad news."
Which made me nervously chuckle out, "Oh, what did I do now?"
We said a prayer and he released me as Ward Chorister, which I love...so, now, I don't have ANY musical callings, much to my dismay.
He then said "The other sad news, you've been called to nursery."
After a second of silence, I looked at him and said, "Can I ask you something?" he said sure and I said, "Why would you say nursery is a 'double sad', it was a fun calling when I had it before."
He then started backpedaling fast explaining that he personally would rather have his current calling or maybe even bishop than nursery. I was pretty upset about it.
Those are OUR kids in there, the future. How DARE you apologize for helping take care and nurture them?!
They are children of God, and while, albeit a handful, they are more closer to the heavens and the angels than any adult. You look at a child and you see the miracles of heaven. What a beautiful, chaotic site.
So, next time you drop your kid in nursery, or have just been called to the "dreaded calling"...please stop and think what a WONDERFUL calling this can be!!
<3
Jessie
Showing posts with label support for husbands. Show all posts
Showing posts with label support for husbands. Show all posts
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
"Ask The Reader"
I received an e-mail yesterday from a woman named "Gina".
Gina asked me to write more in detail about my daily struggles, as she is experiencing some major struggles of her own. I read in detail as to what her main struggles were, I had an epiphany.
While yes, this blog is about me and my personal history, struggles, and life in general; there are so many of you in the same boat.
I will start providing more details about my struggles, but I would also LOVE to share your stories with everyone. I would also love to see, (Either via e-mail I can re-post or comments on the blog.) your advice on how you're coping with these struggles that you, the readers are going through. I can only give advice on what I've experienced.
So, with Gina's blessing, I will try and post her e-mail sometime today before I hit the road. I told her I am leaving and won't be able to respond they way I want to until I get back to civilization. In the mean time, maybe we can have some comments that will help her out...even a "hey girl, you rock, it'll be okay." Would be AMAZING!
As always, I will protect your identity unless you specify that you don't care.
Love you all!
<3
Jessie
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Spring Break! Will Be Gone
Just letting you guys know, I will be out of town for about a week. Leaving in the next few days.
We're going for Spring Break to visit family and will be in the country...which means no cell or internet service! However shall I manage?! Lol
Nah, I LOVE nature and not having to worry about if I've missed a call or not! It's very liberating!
So, if you're on spring break this week like most of the country, have a great rest of it! See ya soon!
<3
Jessie
Looking For More Questions!
Hello everyone!
My Q&A's are becoming very popular. Please, send me some more questions! I'm very eager to answer them! No question is uncomfortable! As you can tell from previous posts, I am very candid about everything!!!
<3
Jessie
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
These Feelings Are Wrong
In a recent correspondence with "Sam", I was asked why I am afraid to lose my temple recommend...that the church's official stance is "The feelings and urgers aren't wrong, it's acting upon them that's wrong."
Yes, that is true. But when you sit there in church and they preach over the pulpit, in Sunday School, where ever, that "homosexuality is a sin", you can't help but think something is wrong with YOU. You are in a battle with yourself thinking "well, if I'm thinking these things, that means I want it, and it's wrong...therefor, these feelings are wrong."
It's not a far leap to think this. That is where the fear of admiting these feelings comes into play.
Some days I'm okay, some days I'm not. I'm still trying to find that perfect balance between love and hate within myself...as I'm sure there are many of you like that.
Lots of love,
<3
Jessie
Monday, April 1, 2013
Q&A #3 From "Brother Supportive"
Yes, ladies and (now for sure) gents!
I had my first questions from an active, LDS Husband who's active, LDS wife has in recent years told him she is also "Attracted to women". How excited am I?!?!?!?!
I've been sitting on it for a few days to give much needed thought and prayer into my answers.
There have been a few e-mails back and forth, so I am paraphrasing and/or taking snippets from the e-mails. I will be keeping it in First Person format, as it is mainly in his words.
Hello Jessie,
After that long intro (sorry) my questions are these:
Dear Brother Supportive;
I'm so glad to hear from you!! First, kudos for wanting to talk about this issue with your wife and not trying to sweep it under the rug! You're ahead of the game already!
I would suggest, when the time is right, to send her to my blog. I have listed in great detail my feelings, struggles and thoughts...I want my story to help others feel better about themselves, because contrary to popular belief. There are many of us out there. They're just waiting for their spark of courage.
However, it really sounds like she isn't ready to talk about it. If you keep pushing the talks on her, she might shut down more. I'm not saying stop talking about it, when an opportunity presents itself, use it. You said she's usually very open, does she like jokes? Hubby and I can openly joke about it, and that does seemed to ease some of the uncertany that looms at times. This process can take years, in my case over a decade. It can even be a life time to come to full form...it's all about her timeline. Everyone progresses at different speeds. I'm somewhere in between being out of the closet but not up to wearing "I like burritos AND tacos" pun shirts. lol
However your wife wants to say it: "I am attracted to girls", "I am Bi-sexual", "I think girls are hot"... it doesn't matter, whatever she's comfortable with. It's a label put on something to describe something...that is all. No matter how it's sliced, the official term is "Bi-Sexual". At first, the word felt very uncomfortable to say, sometimes it still comes off "odd". Growing up in the church, it has SUCH a negative connotation, I felt more comfortable saying the "F" word. But, as time went on, I realized being bisexual, is only PART of who I am, it's not all of me, it doesn't complete me, it doesn't define me. I had to tell someone once, "It just means I like girls too, I'm still the same girl that you've always known." She will, I think, in time come to that acceptance as well.
You are right that her "leave it alone" response isn't healthy. It really isn't. I've been down that road, it's not a fun road to be on. I bottled everything up in a tight bottle. When it finally exploded, it felt like a forest fire started by lightening: raw, powerful and very destructive. But, I'm glad I did go down that road, it made me stronger in the long run...and hey, I can at least give you some insight about it!
With her bottling up like this, there will be a meltdown, it's not an "if" it's a "when". It might be tomorrow, next week, next month, the next year or two, but there is going to be a point where she will. It sucks on so many levels. From my view point, you wonder if you'll ever be the same again, if you'll lose your temple access over the admission, if you and your hubby will be able to recover from this, what will your friends, family, ward, Bishop say? What does the admission mean? The list goes on. When that meltdown happens, you just need to be there. You need to hold her, love her, listen to her and listen to the Spirit, it will tell you what to say.
So, after all those questions I faced; after many tears, prayers and talks with church leaders, my husband and friends; I've found that I although at times, I am still unsure, it's not nearly like I was! Here's what I now know for sure:
1) I am a Child of God.
2) I am a goddess, divine and infinite.
3) I was born this way, this is NOT a choice.
4) I am loved by God, my husband, my kids, my family and many others.
5) I am supported in my thoughts.
6) Being bisexual doesn't define me.
7) I am married to my soul mate, who is a man. Just because I like girls too doesn't mean I will cheat on him.
8) I am and will continue to always honor my temple covenants.
9) I am lucky to have the support that I have, there have been countless others who have lost their way or lives because of lack of support.
10) This is a stigma that needs to and is starting to change!
I hope this has helped you and any other guys out there wanting to understand/support their wives. I promise, you're not alone!!
Much love, prayers, and support,
Jessie <3
I had my first questions from an active, LDS Husband who's active, LDS wife has in recent years told him she is also "Attracted to women". How excited am I?!?!?!?!
I've been sitting on it for a few days to give much needed thought and prayer into my answers.
There have been a few e-mails back and forth, so I am paraphrasing and/or taking snippets from the e-mails. I will be keeping it in First Person format, as it is mainly in his words.
Hello Jessie,
First, thank you for helping me know we're not the only active members who face these issues in ways that are not consistent with our faith.
My wife and I are (very) active in the Church, and completely committed to our temple covenants. In recent years my wife has come to the realization that she's "attracted to other woman", but can barely admit it to herself. She has tried on the label "bi" but has said that it really didn't fit for her. We've talked about it once or twice, but only briefly because she insists on changing the subject, presumably because she's so uncomfortable. I don't doubt her love for me, but I don't know how to best help her, and I'm worried her "leave it alone" response isn't healthy.
This reluctance doesn't make sense to me. First of all, she's the type to speak her mind and share her opinion. Second, we've always had very open communication in our marriage. Third, I've been nothing but supportive and non-judgmental, and have a track record in our marriage of being supportive of her (e.g. education, career). Fourth, we're more liberal-minded members, including being outspoken about women's issues in the church.
I've looked for resources online over the years, in particular on how LDS husbands can support their bi-sexual wives, to no avail.
(1) General: What should husbands know/do to best support their wives who are in a similar situation as you, and
(2) Specific: Is my wife handling this in a healthy way? If not, do you have any suggestions for me to help her?
Dear Brother Supportive;
I'm so glad to hear from you!! First, kudos for wanting to talk about this issue with your wife and not trying to sweep it under the rug! You're ahead of the game already!
I would suggest, when the time is right, to send her to my blog. I have listed in great detail my feelings, struggles and thoughts...I want my story to help others feel better about themselves, because contrary to popular belief. There are many of us out there. They're just waiting for their spark of courage.
However, it really sounds like she isn't ready to talk about it. If you keep pushing the talks on her, she might shut down more. I'm not saying stop talking about it, when an opportunity presents itself, use it. You said she's usually very open, does she like jokes? Hubby and I can openly joke about it, and that does seemed to ease some of the uncertany that looms at times. This process can take years, in my case over a decade. It can even be a life time to come to full form...it's all about her timeline. Everyone progresses at different speeds. I'm somewhere in between being out of the closet but not up to wearing "I like burritos AND tacos" pun shirts. lol
However your wife wants to say it: "I am attracted to girls", "I am Bi-sexual", "I think girls are hot"... it doesn't matter, whatever she's comfortable with. It's a label put on something to describe something...that is all. No matter how it's sliced, the official term is "Bi-Sexual". At first, the word felt very uncomfortable to say, sometimes it still comes off "odd". Growing up in the church, it has SUCH a negative connotation, I felt more comfortable saying the "F" word. But, as time went on, I realized being bisexual, is only PART of who I am, it's not all of me, it doesn't complete me, it doesn't define me. I had to tell someone once, "It just means I like girls too, I'm still the same girl that you've always known." She will, I think, in time come to that acceptance as well.
You are right that her "leave it alone" response isn't healthy. It really isn't. I've been down that road, it's not a fun road to be on. I bottled everything up in a tight bottle. When it finally exploded, it felt like a forest fire started by lightening: raw, powerful and very destructive. But, I'm glad I did go down that road, it made me stronger in the long run...and hey, I can at least give you some insight about it!
With her bottling up like this, there will be a meltdown, it's not an "if" it's a "when". It might be tomorrow, next week, next month, the next year or two, but there is going to be a point where she will. It sucks on so many levels. From my view point, you wonder if you'll ever be the same again, if you'll lose your temple access over the admission, if you and your hubby will be able to recover from this, what will your friends, family, ward, Bishop say? What does the admission mean? The list goes on. When that meltdown happens, you just need to be there. You need to hold her, love her, listen to her and listen to the Spirit, it will tell you what to say.
So, after all those questions I faced; after many tears, prayers and talks with church leaders, my husband and friends; I've found that I although at times, I am still unsure, it's not nearly like I was! Here's what I now know for sure:
1) I am a Child of God.
2) I am a goddess, divine and infinite.
3) I was born this way, this is NOT a choice.
4) I am loved by God, my husband, my kids, my family and many others.
5) I am supported in my thoughts.
6) Being bisexual doesn't define me.
7) I am married to my soul mate, who is a man. Just because I like girls too doesn't mean I will cheat on him.
8) I am and will continue to always honor my temple covenants.
9) I am lucky to have the support that I have, there have been countless others who have lost their way or lives because of lack of support.
10) This is a stigma that needs to and is starting to change!
I hope this has helped you and any other guys out there wanting to understand/support their wives. I promise, you're not alone!!
Much love, prayers, and support,
Jessie <3
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