Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Open Letter To Elder David A. Bednar

Dear Elder Bednar,
First let me start off by saying, I have always loved you. I was at BYU-Idaho during your presidency there. I've met you and your wife on several occasions and another college friend of mine upon meeting you together said "He will make a great apostle one day." And when you received your calling as an Apostle of the Lord, we called each other up both excited  to have you as an apostle.
That being said, your comments that were made in Chile were heard around the world, it caused so much pain in my heart and in many others. To say gay people do not exist, that there are no gay people in the church.
I'm here to say that you are wrong. We do exist.
I am a bisexual LDS member. I hold a temple recommend, I am sealed to my wonderful spouse and we have two amazing kids that we are raising in the church.
I have a strong testimony of this church, I believe it to be true and that God loves us all, no matter what. But when we hear our leaders from apostles down to the ward level say hurtful things over the pulpit, it makes us want to run and hide or hurt ourselves because we feel so unloved. We feel like there is something wrong with us.
I cannot tell you how many tears I've shed on Sundays after a talk or lesson on homosexuality. People, completely oblivious to another's "secret" saying horrible remarks in Sunday School or in the hallways.
To this day, I am still not completely open to all my family and friends. But those that do know, have supported and loved me unconditionally. They love me for me.
I have had Bishops that, upon telling them don't give it a second thought because they know I am worthy to hold a temple recommend, while I've had others grill me about it when that wasn't even why I was there to talk with them.
We are taught to love all, respect all, no matter what race, religion, sex, etc because we are all God's children. But when we hear our apostles saying "gays don't exist" and other disheartening remarks, it sends a mixed message to the members. While some members have been very accepting and loving of LGBT members, I have seen families forced to move into different wards because of all of the hate and shunning that they were receiving because their kid happened to be gay.
This situation is very serious. We are losing so many LDS youth, from either leaving the church completely or taking their lives because they can't take anymore hatred towards them. We are losing our children.
Please, help change this around. Please, tell us we are a people loved by God and therefore should be treated with love too. This needs to be heard over every pulpit across the world. We are children of God too. We need just as much love and support as any other member.
But please, don't say we don't exisit. Because we do. We are very real and we will not be silenced into the corner any longer.
We are tired of the tears, of the fights. We need love and support.
Love,
A very real and very concerned LGBT LDS woman

21 comments:

  1. Thank you, Jessie. Your are spot on with your letter. Know that you are loved. I stand with you.

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  2. Thank you Jillisa! We need this love and support!!

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  4. This is utterly beautiful and brave. I applaud you my dear friend.

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  5. You are awesome. Brave for sharing.

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  6. You are awesome. Brave for sharing.

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  7. He didn't say you didn't exist. He said you werent'defined by only your sexuality. You need re-read the whole article. I think you will think it was loving not hurtful.

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    1. His exact words were "there are no homosexuals in the church."

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    2. His exact words were "there are no homosexuals in the church."

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    3. In the video, he did state "there are no homosexuals in the church." There are in fact MANY LGBT in the church. And to say there are none is completely baffling and hurtful.

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    4. In the video, he did state "there are no homosexuals in the church." There are in fact MANY LGBT in the church. And to say there are none is completely baffling and hurtful.

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  8. Get him Jess. Let him have it. Borrow my flogger and beat him. He needs it, apparently! Good job ace!
    Love, your Florida Greek

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    1. How did I miss this?! Lol! Love ya too!

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    2. How did I miss this?! Lol! Love ya too!

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  9. Thank you for all that you do!!! I am a bi sexual priesthood holder who has struggled in the church. I have suffered depression and isolation because of my sexual orientation. I'm very grateful for your site and what you're doing please keep it up!!!

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    1. Hello! Thanks so much for your comment! I'm sorry you're having a rough time...it IS hard trying to balance yourself and your love of God! If you EVER need to talk when you depressed, please email me!!

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    2. Hello! Thanks so much for your comment! I'm sorry you're having a rough time...it IS hard trying to balance yourself and your love of God! If you EVER need to talk when you depressed, please email me!!

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