Hello my beautiful readers!
I have received several emails asking me that they wish I would update more often.
I do try, but life in my little family has been very challenging. I have currently injured my arm and hubby will be having surgery here soon. So, I am very sorry I can't update more right now, but I am just trying to keep my family together!
The other thing I want to address with you is how honored I am. I am a perfect stranger and you are spilling your secrets to me seeking help, strength and encouragement. I think it helps that I am completely non-judging and only here to help.
That being sad, I do try and give advice from both sides. I lay it out very black and white.
I have had a few emails from woman lately that have desired to have a girlfriend while married...or even currently have a girlfriend with full spousal support.
I felt I need to address this more formally...I feel like there are more in the situation than we know about.
First of all, again, I am not judging. I just want to make that perfectly clear. I love you all, and understand the hurt and frustration of it all.
For those that have girlfriends with full spousal support, that is amazing and rare. Other women that have emailed me in the past, their husbands don't quite understand why and have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that they were bisexual, let alone wanting to be physically with another woman. I am very happy that you have that support!
For those that are thinking about it, it is a VERY hard decision to make. I sometimes still struggle with my decision to abstain from having a girlfriend at this time. My husband is my best friend, I have known him since high school. For me, I don't think I could forgive myself for the hurt it would cause him...when things really hit the fan when I first came out to more than him...I literally ran away from home for a day. When I came home, the relief on his face...he thought I was gone for good.
I stress this is a very hard decision. It comes down to this...if you are willing to potentially break up your marriage to explore this part of your life? For me, I am not there yet. But I am personally okay with my decision.
That being said, you need to be your genuine self. If you feel like this is something you need to explore, if it is crushing you not to do this. Then, you need to. Hiding and fighting these feelings with no outlet can be so damn exhausting.
I know this is not church doctrine. The church states "heterosexual and marriage only sex." Which I think is funny now considering the first few prophets had many wives...
I am not condoning monogamy, or a non-monogamous marriage. That is not something I will do. For me personally, I am okay with sacrificing the other part of my sexuality because of my love for my husband. If I wasn't in a good marriage...all bets would be off.
My hubby and I have joked that we'd be okay with a plural marriage as long as I get to pick one of the girls. Lol
I hope this helps.
I love you all so much. Thank you again for trusting with your secrets!
I remain, as always, your loyal friend!