I have a few thoughts that have been weighing on me since conference.
First of all, to the people that shouted "I DO NOT SUSTAIN YOU!" (or something to that effect.) When we were called to sustain our prophet and apostles. I understand your frustrations, I really do. But there is a time and place for it. It is a hard balance. But, anger only breeds anger, a hard lesson I learned so long ago. Know that I love you all and support your ideals of being heard, but not how it was done. Please know I am speaking with love and not condemning anyone. I have no right to judge. Nor do I know the whole reason why you did it. I invite you to contact me for an interview. I would love to get the full story!
The last few years, with the push for accepting LGBT people in the world is getting bigger and better, there is STILL a lot of push to stop these "counterfeit" lives. When L. Tom Perry said that, I died a little. I have always looked up to him. Him and my grandfather were Bishops in the Sacramento area together...so I grew up with a great respect and "grandfather type love" for the man. My heart was hurt. That some apostles (and the prophet) teach love and acceptance for our LGBT brothers and sisters, and other apostles say things like "counterfeit" about us.
It makes very vulnerable people do some tragic things. Two friends who are active LDS are trying to heal and deal with their LGBT kids attempt suicide after this last General Conference. Thank goodness they stopped themselves before they did. However, after reading other articles, there were some that weren't as lucky.
These impressionable kids, they are young and already confused as hell with their hormones...they don't need to have adults who they are told to look up to and respect telling them that something is wrong with them.
While I know that was not the intention behind it, the fact remains that it happened. These youth in our church are HURTING! They feel so lost, and when they go looking for guidance, for love, for acceptance they get met with words that make them confused, depressed and hurting more than they already are.
This is the one thing that has kept me in the church. We have ALWAYS been taught that God is a loving God, not a vengeful one. That he loves us no matter what! It's what keeps me going. So, when I hear these apostles of Christ speaking like this, it hurts, it hurts bad. It is a enough to shake my testimony a bit.
There has been much soul searching in my heart, a lot of prayer over these talks, over the attempted suicides and some that did take their lives. We truly are getting closer to the last days. We are starting to see a great divide in the church
We are seeing so many wars and pain, so much pain. We are trying to fight ourselves and we need to unite and fight back with love and goodness.
I have had too many experiences in my life as a member of the LDS faith to deny the church. I do believe it to be the true church of God on this earth. We have seen through its history, the evolution of our faith.
Black people were once not allowed to hold the Priesthood at all...it took so many years of prayers and pushing for that ban to be lifted...and even then, many people left the church thinking that a white person was more supreme.
I am, and have been called (recently even) a mix, a not pure blood. I am a mix of several Native American tribes and about half of Europe. I can pass as a dark white person or a light skinned native as I have qualities from both sides.
My point is this, at some point, many years ago, I had relatives that fell in love...their love was deemed a sin, their love wasn't allowed! Hell, even the church has stated in the past that we shouldn't mix races. And that "commandment" has since been removed.
It has taken centuries for us to evolve, for freedoms that we do have. It has taken a long time for racism to be stomped out...and it still isn't all the way, there are still people that hate people just for their skin color. They can't help what color of skin they were born with!!
And that is how it is with sexual orientation...we are born this way. And while the struggle is still very real, that were are having hatred and rights removed from us because of our "preferences." I hate that word "preference"...it is used in the manner like we have a choice and it is an easy choice. We do not. If we could choose not to have these feelings, we wouldn't. Do you think we like all the shit being done to us? I think not!
We are at the forefront of this fight. We are the pioneers...and we had pioneers before us! It is going to be a very long time until people will come around to loving us as is.
I know this church is true, with all my heart. I still sustain the Prophet and our Apostles. Is it hard to do? Sometimes, yes it is. But I have the faith that things will one day change. Do I know what that change will be? No, but something does need to change!
God and Christ are all loving, it's humans that aren't.
All my love,