Things Are Changing in The Church!

Hello my loves! I'm back! Things are starting to turn around health wise...I appreciate your well wishes via email!

We recently received a new Relief Society President in our ward...the old one moved out. I do love the old one, I know she loved us with all her heart, but she was hard to approach sometimes.

I didn't know our knew one very well, and actually just started to get to know her in recent months. As you know from previous posts, I go to church for me, not for anyone else, because most people (it seems) in the ward don't like that I have more than one set of earrings or that I have tattoos or that I speak my mind when I hear the "gospel according to Sarah" (made up name) and not what the message is really supposed to mean. There are many times I've sat with a clenched jaw in class wanting to say some things but not really wanting to get hauled into the Bishop's office.

Anyhoo, I am a Visiting Teaching Supervisor, which means for those of you not LDS, that I am responsible for a group of women who go and visit usually about 4 different sisters a month. They check in with me, and I report if there are any needs that need to be met. Well, a need arose, and a most desperate one. I called her up to let her know what was up. Later on we just started texting. She said she loves seeing me at church because I light up the room.

I was floored. Wait, huh, who, me? You're joking, right?!

And then went off on a tangent...and I said things I thought I would NEVER say to a Relief Society President!  I told her I don't feel that way, I feel more like pierced up, tattooed, bisexual, outcast that speaks my mind when someone gets on their high horse...especially when they say Mormons are so much better than anyone else. Excuse me?! Ghandi, the Popes (minus a few waaaaaay back), Mother Teresa, they're going to heaven, it's not just us Mormons.

As soon as I sent the text, I quickly sent "sorry about the rant".

She then texted back a very lengthy response thanking me for the rant. She shared some beautiful and painful things she has gone through...but the one thing that stuck out was "I have a gay married daughter, together they have a baby. She loves the church and loves the way she was raised and wants to raise her kids the same but fears the judgement. I could not be more proud of her, she is a VERY amazing person."

The point of me sharing this rather lengthy story, my friends is this: Our Heavenly Father knows us, he hears our struggles, our pain, our DAILY strugglings with our feelings, our feelings of no self worth because they tell us time and again, "it is a sin to be gay." Even though our Prophet and Apostles are saying, commanding, nearly YELLING at us, they are pleading over the pulpit to have more compassion for us that are having these struggles...that we can walk among each other with our judgment, without prejudice. That we can love one another...it's not just a song folks...it's a commandment.

And I just saw this in my own ward. We now have a leader that has first hand love and the upmost respect for her daughter...who is no different, she is a good person who just happens to be gay. She is a daughter of God, and he loves every single one of us.

Things are changing, and it makes me excited!

With all my love,

Jessie

Did You Think To Pray?

Happy Sunday all!!!

Today, we sang the song Did You Think To Pray.  This has, in recent years become one of my favorites.

Ere you left your room this morning,
Did you think to pray?
In the name of Christ, our Savior,
Did you sue for loving favor
As a shield today?

[Chorus]
Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary,
Don’t forget to pray.

When your heart was filled with anger,
Did you think to pray?
Did you plead for grace, my brother,
That you might forgive another
Who had crossed your way?

When sore trials came upon you,
Did you think to pray?
When your soul was full of sorrow,
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?

The main reason is, when I was at a real low point, when my "friend" asked me to have an affair with her...I decided to head to the beach.  It's a pretty long drive, and I had to do it on a Sunday.  I was almost to the beach and was in a small little town and I looked at the time, it was almost noon.  I thought I might be able to catch a little bit of church.  I found the local LDS church and went in.  I made it for Relief Society.  The opening song was "Did You Think To Pray?"  I just started to just sob.  I then went to the beach, walked along a very drizzly, dreary, day and found a little alcove.  There, I sat there on a long and prayed for over an hour.  I've never prayed that long in my life.  I just sat there, looking at the waves and quietly praying aloud.  

I knew that I was a Child of God.  I knew that despite all my flaws and no matter what I say or do, that I will ALWAYS have the love of my brother, Christ and of Heavenly Father.  I felt so much weight and pain lifted off my shoulders.  It was just beautiful!

So, on those days that you're having a hard time, struggling with who you really are, think of this hymn and pray!  The heavens always love to hear your voice and will smile and shower blessing upon you.

Love to all!

Jessie <3